someone somewhere.....

Falling for her was easy

loving her is still easy

hard part is accepting

that she is not mine

that feeling for her

was so intense

if it wasn't love then

it was something unexplainable

yeah,..unexplainable it was

i couldn't tell her enough of it

she didn't understand even a little

At this exact moment

i feel like talking to her

but that will not be right

she is doing so fine there

she says she has found 

the love of her life

I know,in sometime

I will be fine & life goes on

but without her

life looks little less then perfect

May be for once more

I wish I could tell her

no matter where you go

just remember someone somewhere

thinks of you and wishes you well and

someone somewhere still loves you........

 

 

Life....and afterthoughts

Social service health camps are one of the initiatives by government hospitals to provide health services to more and more people. One of the things I have seen here is that Doctors want their names to be put forward for camps, not because they want to do social service, some of them might be but the main thing is that they get appreciation certificate for working in camps which will help them further in their careers which is not a bad thing in itself but since social service is not their main objective they rarely do it properly. Mostly BPL( below poverty level) families come in these sort of camps and its amazing how the same doctor who can't stop himself from addressing his junior as "shraddha ji"  yells at that young rural lady "tujhe test karane ko bola tha na" and that poor lady shrinks more in herself ......poverty is not only about lack of roti kapda aur makaan..poor people suffer from more than that...

                  In our weekly hospital sessions seeing that ultra enthusiastic 4 year old running in corridor I asked him ..." Chotuu kya naam hai tumhara" he whispered something but I couldn't listen...I was going to ask him about his school but seeing his clothing and his mom's condition I inferred he might not be going to school yet....and then I remembered the train journey when 5 year old pranjal was telling me enthusiastically about his teachers and he went on and on...his mother was SBI employee...whole journey his mom kept giving instructions..beta don't do this..don't do that...atleast chotuu was free to run in the corridor...

                               Hindu aur muslim ye to sirf dharm hain
                               insaan ki to do hi jaatiya hain amir aur gareeb

Yesterday went to Trivedi's sir house.He is a faculty member of krishna coaching classes..I didn't know that he was a member of SWS (its a NGO, smile welfare society) but the walls of the first room which I presume was the guest room was filled with his photos and memoirs of his charity works...Taking pride on your good deeds is not bad but it was too much...it was as if the walls were screaming "look here how great I am ... I do charity for society "....people want to do good things but at the same time they yearn for fame and reputation..Its not anymore like "neki kar dariya me daal" now a days its more like "neki kar notice board par daal" or for that matter  "facebook pe daal".but why blame only Mr. Trivedi we all are like him, everyone wants fame and reputation......its startling when we look back and see how stupid we were and in afterthoughts how intelligent we become....sometimes I think if I would have lived in afterthoughts I would have been pretty close to becoming CEO of some MNC..

Do I understand what love is????

Do I understand what love is?

not sure ...but I guess a little bit

a little bit ,which is too much

haven't loved and lost because never had her

still there is something I miss

something which was never there

but still occupied a space in my heart

heart which was engraved by her thoughts

thoughts of loving her and being loved

but do thoughts matter in love??

do I understand what love is? not sure

Filled my heart with emotions

and left, not once but twice

she didn't even stayed for a while

just crossed across my path

to leave me longing and waiting

love is not meant to be fair I guess

all this waiting and yearning hurts

the sudden emptiness of dreams hurts

the unspoken words still long to be heard

but they say pain is also a part of love

do I understand what is love? a little bit

But hurting is not all that love is

because I smile when I think of the

late night conversations we had

I smile thinking how stupid I was

to write such mails to her

no wonder she didn't wanted

to read anymore of those

I smile thinking of the silly thoughts

she shared with all her simplicity

I smile when I remember the crazy thoughts 

and feelings i was starting to have for her

 do I understand what love is? I guess I do

what have I gained from love?

I felt things which made me dream

dream about better things for life

a better perspective to see things

to see things from others point of view

to expect just about nothing and appreciate 

feelings that others have for me in better way

In many ways it added a spark which I missed 

so I have loved and lost but not really lost

because I never really had her

but she made me feel what love is

do i understand what love is ? yes i do

p.s - Just an imaginary poem... :p

 

To be in love or to not be in love...

scared to love someone and scared to be loved by anyone....doesn't it sound inhibiting yourself??????....ya certainly it does...why should anyone feel like this??... shouldn't we dare more in life and let ourselves free to feel everything....whatever life throws upon us....Am I holding myself too tight?.....may be...

Why is love so scary????  only answer I can think of is maybe because in love there is nothing we can have control of...absolutely nothing....

Or is it scary at all?...how can a word so beautiful be scary.. .surely it can't be....they say to live is to love...

It depends....if you love someone who loves you back, then its the best thing in the world...but unfortunately if you are not one of those lucky ones having such destiny then its absolute nightmare..it really is...your suffering is proportionate to deepness of your love....you can say that you are happy for him/her, your love is selfless and blah blah...but in the end when dreams are broken, pain is inevitable

Recently sunil told me that its better to be with someone who loves you then trying to be with someone who doesn't....I just asked him doesn't it sound selfish...to stay with someone because she loves me so I will be happy...and what about her ?? isn't love thought to be mutual feeling... love is not be faked....a little hurting is better than giving false hopes and dreams only to break them.....after that  I can say sorry for hundred times and explain her but all this will not change anything for her...and he didn't uttered a word back...

       Its not that as if I am an anti- love person though few people think like that...love can be amazing. It teaches you so many things about yourself and it gives you new perspective for life and so much more...

But life is not a fair affair..its never meant to be..so you have got to prioritize things and here it gets all difficult...love can be awesome and this and that but is it worthwhile to give priority to something which is going to hurt you ?..I know there are people who will say pyar me duniadari nahi dekhi jati ( any other dialogue from bollywood will also suffice) ...but unfortunately this is not reel life...if life had been only about love then I wonder how so many heart broken people manage to live...love is certainly a big part of life but still it is only a part...moreover there are so many people around you in the form of family and friends to love you that not being loved by some AVERAGE guy should not mean that much for you....A guy who is intelligent and looks nice from outset doesn't necessarily means he is...Am not even sure scoring marks in exams equals to intelligence..

  One more thing, Its not that if someone doesn't loves you back then it means that he just doesn't cares...he might be feeling guilty because he can't reciprocate your love, if he is avoiding you on purpose than it doesn't means that he is arrogant, it means that he wants you to focus on your life.....I can't explain much here, even if i do, you won't understand....but a few years later ...you would. You know you are not supposed to run after love.....let love find you...you are awesome just like everyone is and there must be someone around you who can make you feel like that and trust me that will be amazing and then you are going to laugh over all this....life is simple...sometimes we complicate it more than needed...
 
       On a different note I have been listening a lot of Jagjit and chitra..Am not sure about your taste of music but this song is a good one...

     

       Its 1 am already so going to close this post, I don't know if whatever I have written makes any sense for you but anyhow I have kept my word,....and I don't think you expected better than this from me...if you did...I repeat I am just average...nothing more than that..

p.s - Now you can't call me arrogant...you asked me to write for you and see in just 10 minutes..here it is....
 

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara poems

ZNMD was a terrific watch but to top it all the poems in the movie were awesome, written by Javed akhtar and voice was given by multi talented Farhan akhtar. Simple words with deep meaning and I just love it....reading the poems makes you think and reflect on your life...inspiring you in some way....if you really want to feel the poetry I recommend you to download the youtube videos of it.....

Poetry 1
Pighlay neelam sa behta hua yeh samaan
Neeli neeli si khamoshiyaan
Na kahin hai zameen
Na kahin aasmaan
Sarsaraati huyi tehniyaan, pattiyaan
Keh rahi hain ki bas ek tum ho yahaan
Sirf main hoon meri saansein hain aur meri dhadkanein
Aisi gehraiyaan
Aisi tanhaiyaan
Aur main sirf main
Apne honay pe mujhko yaqeen aa gaya

Poetry 2
Ik baat honton tak hai jo aayi nahin
Bas ankhon say hai jhaankti
Tumse kabhi, mujhse kabhi
Kuch lafz hain woh maangti
Jinko pehanke honton tak aa jaaye woh
Aawaaz ki baahon mein baahein daalke ithlaaye woh
Lekin jo yeh ik baat hai
Ahsaas hi ahsaas hai
Khushboo si hai jaise hawa mein tairti
Khushboo jo be-aawaaz hai
Jiska pata tumko bhi hai
Jiski khabar mujhko bhi hai
Duniya se bhi chupta nahin
Yeh jaane kaisa raaz hai

Poetry 3 (This one is amazing)

Jab jab dard ka baadal chaya
Jab ghum ka saya lehraya
Jab aansoo palkon tak aya
Jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya
Humne dil ko yeh samjhaya
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai
Duniya mein yunhi hota hai
Yeh jo gehre sannate hain
Waqt ne sabko hi baante hain
Thoda ghum hai sabka qissa
Thodi dhoop hai sabka hissa
Aankh teri bekaar hi nam hai
Har pal ek naya mausam hai
Kyun tu aise pal khota hai
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai

Poetry 4
Dilon mein tum apni betaabiyaan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum
Nazar mein khwaabon ki bijliyaan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum
Hawaa ke jhonkon ke jaise azad rehna seekho
Tum ek dariya ke jaise lehron mein behna seekho
Har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahein
Har ek pal ik naya samaan dekhein yeh nigaahein
Jo apni aankhon mein hairaaniyaan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum
Dilon mein tum apni betaabiyaan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum

The NOT so poor India

Just read on a forum that "Ek tha Tiger" has smashed all box office records in terms of opening day collection by collecting 32 crores( which in my opinion is huge considering the movie is average at best but its all SAL-MANia). As I was reading this, I don't know from where a comment made by Australian cricketer Matthew Hadyen came to my mind. Few years back when asked about India he described India as "POOR COUNTRY POOR PEOPLE" . Even United Nations has ranked India on 134th place out of 187 nations in term of poverty but is India really poor?

        Swiss Bank Managing Director certainly not agrees that India is poor and he has a reason for that. The personal account deposits by India totals to 1500 billion( 28 lakh crore rupees) which makes India number one in black money deposits. ( It would have been great if black money deposits had been olympics event....India would have won Gold without any competetion). To get an Idea about the hugeness of this amount, the total money deposted in swiss accounts is 13 times India's foreign debt and If that money is brought back India can pay their foreign debt and country can run for more than 20 years tax free. But sadly all this not going to happen because government doesn't want to and everyone knows why .

              Another reason for government inactivity on black money issue might be because of government's thinking that there is no shortage of money in country(atleast not in bank accounts of politicians) and based on this thinking they are throwing around money to different countries such as $1 billion in aid to Bangladesh, one-fifth as grant; $500 million to Myanmar; $300 million to Sri Lanka; $140 million to the Maldives; and hundreds of millions of dollars in new aid to Afghanistan and Nepal.Seriously I don't know what government is trying to do by this lavish free distribution of money when United Nations says that 40% of Indians live for less than a dollar a day but may be our government doesn't think that there are poor people here and how can one be poor in government eyes when if a person can live on 26 rupees a day means he is not poor.

          In fact to certify this poverty theory of government our prime minister ( read Robot singh) was going to launch "harh haath me phone" scheme ( what if there is no "har pet me roti") with 200 minutes of free talktime for poor people. I was hoping Rahul baba would suggest(order) him to also give free message packs to poor youngsters. For now the scheme seems to be postponed may be because if they would give mobiles they will also have to provide electricity to poor people.

       Now coming to the point of India being not poor,if some foreigner argues with you about India being poor just handle him the list of government scams and amount of money involved in them and if he is still not convinced and says that common people are poor here then take him to a Indian wedding and let him see how we "poor" Indians waste money. Needs not to be necessarily a high class wedding or a royal wedding, a middle class wedding would suffice. Royal weddings will be too much because royal wedding are not made in heaven they are made in banks. A middle class wedding will show him how aam aadmi( common man) spends out of their aukaat ( status), that foreign guy might even faint on seeing the amount of gold laden on dulhe ke chachaji ki sali ki buaji (no translation for this :p). 

        For once and all India is NOT poor and Matthew Hayden will agree to this now because after retiring he came running to India to earn money by playing in IPL( money rich tamasha, can't call it cricket).

On a serious note its no hidden fact that there is enough wealth here its just improper distribution of wealth which means 37% people are poor here and that is only because of lack of political will. Its agreed that being a developing nation with huge population poverty is going to be a problem and government can't simply take money from rich people to give to the poor but there are enough sources available to improve the present situation so that no one dares to associate the word poor with India.

          

Random ramblings

Today is 15th aug 2012 which marks 65 years of our independence but seems like guys here are more enthusiastic about "Ek tha Tiger" release. Thanks to vishy akka movie planner we have got tickets for evening show . One more interesting thing is that none of us can be classified as real movie fanatic but of late we have been watching a lot of movies which I think has got lot to do with the fact that recently there has been sudden feeling of boredom in hostel....or am I the only one feeling like this?.....

           There are times when I have lot of free time and I can't think of doing something useful....let alone useful , I can't think of doing anything at all and I hate that. Its like you want to go out and do something really different.....talking of doing something different...well next month is going to be some serious fun and I really hope it all pans out as planned. Vicky is already in delhi, tarun will be there and to add cherry to the cake vikram is also coming so its going to be fabulous four meet....though haven't decided what are we going to do over there but one thing is for sure that stay would be fun. The fact that we also have CDS exam there has taken a back seat to excitement of meeting.


           Hearing to Barkha dutt on NDTV is real pain theses days. She did a commendable job during kargil wars and her column in Hindustan Times comes across as a good read but apart from it hearing her on NDTV live debates, one can clearly see her being biased and irrational.She sounds arrogant and thinks of herself as being too important. There is no hiding that she was clearly involved in Nira Radia episode. Though Arnav Goswami was one of my favorite news anchors but he has also become too loud. He looks angry and asks harsh questions during debates but thats all he has confined himself to...Ravish is the most pleasing one to hear to with his desi accent . Heard them for two days during my recent visit to Guwahati and suddenly I don't miss watching t.v that much now in hostel.


            

Let me do it my way

I don't know why people think that its impossible to clear civil services unless you stop doing everything else in your life and only think about civil services day in day out. In my case, I have been told umpteen times that it will be near to impossible for me to succeed without coaching. Its fine if these sort of suggestions come from strangers but when your friends and relatives start saying things like that, its not going to be of any help for me. I expect motivation and support from people whom I think are part of my life one way or other...there are already enough people to question your efforts. I agree that its going to be tough but is there any harm in trying ??...I have got my priorities sorted out and I am not going to compromise on my academics in any way, in fact I think preparing this year I am in better state of mind because there is no pressure that I have to just do it.

         There is no denying that its hard work and I have to work a little harder than my other mates but in the end I am doing all this for myself so obviously there is no point in complaining. Its not that civil services is be all and end all for me...far from that. I decided to go for medical only after board results were out before that I had all my options open. similarly now also I have kept my all options open.....I know people say that they always wanted to do this, they always wanted to be a doctor or an IAS, this was their dream, that was their dream and there is nothing wrong in it but somehow I have never felt like that (if i had to say then i would say i always wanted to be a cricketer though highest i have played is for my school :p) ...I wish I did but I know one thing that whatever I will do I would succeed because hard work can make everything possible and I am going to push myself to my limits. Its better to do something and succeed than to dream something and fail.

     Theres one quote which goes something like this

              I don't believe in taking right decisions, I take decisions and make them right

I am not trying to say that I will do it because I am the best because I am well aware of the toughness of my chosen road . If I am trying to do something and you can't help me than please let me do it my way.
        

           

From "more than a friend" to "just a friend"

Facebook is somewhat indispensable these days....he was a guy who said that he is not a fan of Facebook  but logged in daily....as he was going through his news feeds as people go through newspapers to see what his friends are up to....friends?? not really ...he wanted to see what SHE is up to...he always did that....always tried to make sense of her status updates..trying to figure out something about her world....though he knew somewhere in his heart that he would be the last one to cross her thoughts..if he ever does  ......

       These day they were not on talking terms but it was not always like this .he loved her and she did tell him that he is "more than a friend"...there were days when she did made him feel as if he was something to her...for some seconds he thought that may be perfect things do happen....but it didn't last long and it was all over..she was not interested and he was (trying to be) determined to not talk to her....not because he didn't want to...because he always messed it up and didn't want to do that again...

      suddenly he received a "hi" from her and he brightened up ....was he expecting it? no..did he want to hear from her ? an obvious yes....( so feelings are still there....what to do about those)

         After a few "hwz u's" and "m fyn"...he tried to be normal( she always wanted him to behave normal) and talk about her brother and her plans about joining college .... after that he couldn't think of anything "normal" to talk about so he thought its better to leave before he does all that messing up again...he didn't want open up his heart again...was he scared to show his feelings ? may be somewhere....before leaving he told her that he is always there for her as a "friend"......and she replied with thanks ( he used to hate her "thanks")..he wished her "gud nyt" and left...or did he? he just went offline....

            so at last he managed to have a normal conversation with her but being a nothing or everything guy he was not sure how long can he manage like this ....talking with her "just as a friend" .........


p.s - This is my first trial with fiction...not sure if this comes exactly under fiction category.
           

Friends : the counselors (in vain)

Friendship is the hardest of relations to define ( unless you have tried understanding love :p) .You don't know when someone becomes your friend..I mean you can't say ok I have met you and I think we have a good understanding of each other and I want to be a part of your life so now from 7:00 pm we are going to be friends, in fact I have never said to my friends that you are my best friend or something like that unless I need some favor and want to persuade them to do something which they don't want to.( emotional blackmailing ;))...and the golden line for these situations is saale dost ke liye itna bhi nahi kar sakta, dekh li teri dosti..and it works every time and it works on me too.

        The best part of friendship is that since it doesn't comes with pre defined roles as in our other relationships, friends play almost every role we need them to. Ask them for a advice on something and suddenly they will give you a lecture which will put Paul Robinson to shame. Today Suraj asked me to help him to select a subject for his optional and the moment he finished his sentence I was on with all my research on every subject which he cannot chose, should not chose, subjects to stay away from...there was only a small matter that I was not able to suggest him a subject to choose:p and how can I when I am still not decided about my own optionals. In the end he admitted that he made a mistake by asking me because now he is even more confused ...beta kya matlab hai tumhara, itna bol bacchan bekar gaya mera....

        Though I have also been on receiving ends of these bol bacchans on several occasions. From the time me and Tarun found out that we devils are made for a life long friendship we have been constantly together and later I found out that even classmates had coined us as rahu-ketu (which we took as a compliment ). Recently when he found out that I am in love with someone he came up with lectures which included every single point under the universe related to a girl and a boy. He did post mortem of my situation and dissected every single thought and came to the conclusion that I am trying too hard for something which is impossible ( as if i didn't knew). To be honest I was really awed by his understanding( though when it comes to girls, he is as bad as I am) and only regret I have now is that I didn't record his conversations, there was enough matter in them for at least 10 posts or may be for a book titled " How to make your friend feel guilty for falling in love"( long title na, well it will give you an idea about the thickness of that imaginary book) . Now I am waiting for him to fall for someone and give some of those lectures back to him :p ( just kidding).
        
          On a different note one of my friends asked me to write a post related to our school teachers..though the idea is very interesting and would definitely think about writing some time later at least KD deserves a post ....and a post about spice girls group would be interesting though risky :p.

P.S - Here "spice girls" does not refers to the British pop group, here I am referring to a group of 4 fashionable girls ( thats what they think about themselves) who happened to be firm believers of YOLO studying in my batch and if anyone of them reads this , I am doomed.

Getting hang of my own thoughts

Sitting alone in my room I am trying to type down my thoughts, thoughts which are unsure,jumbled and wandering all around. Writing all theses thoughts there is a sense of calmness, the same calmness which surrounds the sea shore after a storm. Its like I was expecting all this and waiting for it to happen though I didn’t want to…but it was inevitable  
                 It’s been a while now since I knew that I really loved her, and I have tried to both show and tell her in so many ways… and I think she knows it now, if not, then it means I haven’t done enough but I hope she does. It’s not a whim or a momentary thing that will change with the weather or the seasons. It is love and I didn’t love her because I need to be in a relationship, or because I’m lonely. I love her because of who she is… because she is the exact person I have been looking for. Because I love each moment I get to talk to her. Because to me she is so beautiful in every way possible! Because just the thought of her makes me happy. When I think of her, I can’t help but think of so many great plans… adventures… sweet moments together, so happy. So much that could have been.
       
               To say that she is likeable would be an understatement…she is irresistibly lovable. To know her more is like keep knowing someone who is just different from everyone else…different in the sense that she is so much herself all the time. Not the kind of girl who tries to impress you and some of the things she said are so overwhelming that you can just amaze about it. She is a girl whose conversations are sometimes more matured than her age and at the same time she is unsure of her shopping sense and not even hesitant to admit it. Kind of girl you can depend on at the same time can take care of . There is something about her which tells me that she is the one worth my efforts but during all this time I have also tried to see other things… her side of things. I have observed her get excited about her plans with everybody else, and observed her hesitate about any plans with me. Sometimes I’m the afterthought, or the no thought at all, and the priorities seldom ever seem fall on my side. Her answers for me are always so noncommittal. It’s almost always me reaching out for her hand asking her to stay.
           
                    I’m not sure if she is afraid that I will eventually hurt her (I won’t) or that I’ll keep her from being free to be herself (I wouldn’t) or if the truth is that I’m simply not there in her heart. May be it all comes down to the fact that we were never close enough so that she can know me and this the only thing I regret because there is something which tells me that we were meant to be with each other…I am under no illusions, I know I am not the kind of guy a girl would fall for in first look and or the kind of guy who could make a girl fall for him over phone calls, In fact most of the time talking to her I found myself lost for words. There might be other negatives such as being too expecting or persuading as she pointed out few times and I don’t deny it because she must have felt that. There were times when even I also felt that I am being selfish. I wanted to meet her though now she might not be interested in that.
              But to be honest even with all this, I thought that I was good enough for someone I would love, all these years everyone around me made me feel like that but it was not to be. I have always thought that if you love someone then you must feel happy because love should give you hope, inspiration and happiness. If you are in love but your days don’t look brighter and you are not inspired to work for future with your loved one then there is definitely something wrong either in you or in your love. For me there were times when I was desperate and didn’t liked all that confusion and complications around but now when everything is almost over, I feel I long for those things but being the girl she is , she doesn’t want me to hang around for her and I understand that.


                  Now I don’t want myself to resent because of my one-sided love. The truth is difficult to accept but may be she has discovered that she has nothing for me, and I have to find a way to come to terms with it, because to love somebody truly who does not love you back is to die a little every day. It’s so very hard…And more importantly, I love her so much that all I truly want for her is to be in love with someone the way that I am in love with her, and to have him love her back just the same. she deserves that, everyone deserves it. If that someone is not me (but I wish with all my heart it could have been), then I should get out of the way so that she can find someone as perfect for her as I think she is for me. I think its supposed to be done like this………
I don’t want to think like that its over for forever, even if it might be the case here…..

Quantum funda of life

I have always found Quantum physics fascinating though I have never understood it completely ( but who has? ). There have been times when driven by certain enthusiasm I have thought, alright this week I am going to get over this quantum thing but i always get stuck somewhere and enthusiasm rarely stays that long. One of the things with quantum theory is it sounds very silly but its unquestionably correct, at least till now not a single experiment has defied it.

       Its said that Quantum physics is observable either at micro level or at macro level. It explains the existence and movement of atomic particle and also behavior of superconductors and super fluids. But apart from these things quantum theory also explains our life and world.....trust me really it does. ok not in that scientific sense (:P) but when you are sitting in a library with 'Feynman's lecture on physics" in your hand unable to comprehend it, you are bound to come up with your own theories. (and you also get some astonished stares from mates if you are a fiction lover like me :p)

       Quantum physics says that movement of sub atomic particles is inherently random and so is our life. You don't know whats going to happen next moment.( much like our Indian cricket team's performances, scores 300 one day and next day collapses for 140 :p).
       Quantum physics says it is physically impossible to know both the position and momentum of a particle at the same time, the more precisely one is known the less precise the measurement of other is and how true it is. There are times when we are really sure of our feelings and views but can't comprehend the feelings and views of others, the more sure we get of ourselves invariably we get unsure of others.I really feel here for Schrodinger, poor guy formulated a equation and the moment they tried to locate the particle the wave equation collapsed and when he was asked why this, his response was " just shut up and calculate". When asked about his involvement with quantum theory this was his response " i don't like it and i am sorry that i ever had anything to do with it". When people like him find quantum physics hard then what about a average guy like me ( that Schrodinger's cat just never dies :p) . 
   
       One of the really interesting postulates of quantum theory is that a sub atomic particle acts like wave and particle at the same time and it all depends on what the experimenter wants to see. This one works well in harmony with human nature and life. The way we perceive life really depends on us. Good times bad times, happiness sadness its all relative. But the best part of quantum physics is MWI. MWI means many worlds interpretation and it is amazing. According to it every moment the world splits into as many parallel worlds as there are possible outcomes of your action. Imagine you propose your childhood crush but she declines you and you feel broken but wait...the moment you proposed her your world got split into two and in other parallel world she has accepted your proposal and both of you are sitting side by side, holding each others hands and looking at the setting sun ( sounds too filmy na ..mujhe bhi :p). On the same note some experiments have proved that that “the two photons are so intimately bound up that it is justified to consider them as part of one physical entity even though they are spatially separate ( do jism ek jaan :p). So now lovers can explain (confuse) their parents about their love using quantum physics.

     Its getting late and i am not still not over this quantum funda even after such a long post. I guess its taking too many words and a thumb rule is that when you take too many words to explain something that means first you need to understand it better......errrr this means Quantum theory i have to read you again (not really).

Going to end up with two good lines.

Once Bohr remarked that anyone who has not been shocked by Quantum physics hasn't really understood it

Richard Feynman said that I can safely say that nobody understands quantum physics.

The awesome thing about above lines is that even when you replace "quantum physics" with "life" they still make sense.


        

Self Evaluation seminar

Writing this post my mind is really crowded with lots of thoughts so this post is going to be one of those messy ones. Though for some reason i have never been a fan of seminars and speeches but still I end up attending all of them hoping i might end up attending something useful. Most of the times I have been disappointed by those self development, personality development, public communication development or for that matter "anything related to development" seminars because theres nothing in those seminars other than excerpts taken from books of Dale Carnegie or Napoleon hill. 

               Today we had a seminar and I was expecting it to be one of "those" seminars but we were told that its going to be a self evaluation seminar and I thought they are going to talk about our mock test results but we were in for a surprise and what a pleasant and encouraging surprise it was. Shalini agnihotri ( CSE 2011 AIR 285) was invited for a speech. A commendable fact about her is that her father is a bus conductor and she is one of the three siblings, so in spite of financial restrictions she has achieved this success. Her speech was a good one, she talked about continuity in studies, interest, dedication, hard work and self believe. Its nothing new but coming from a topper it does mean something. All in all seminar was good one.

         Usually I take bus but today weather was fine and a cool breeze was on so I decided to walk to hostel. Walking back I was busy self evaluating myself in fact I am still doing it. Belief is there I know I can, if 900 students can do it then so can I. Hard work has never been a problem for me. I think I have managed the workload quite well and utilized the time to maximum during these two months and if I can continue this I should be well prepared. In fact for this specific reason of heavy workload Dad was not quite excited with my decision of taking up to civil services this year. He wanted me to first get over with my degree before thinking about it but I have different plans. Somehow he agreed to my decision of joining coaching but I think he still is not quite up to my idea. I know parents are never wrong ( at least most of the times) and there have been times when I have thought this is tough. On days when we have all classes in college it becomes difficult to remain attentive in coaching for all 3 hours and then there have been days when I have felt sleepy in first class due to lack of sleep but somehow it all has gone well and theres only 10 days of coaching left and I feel I am heading on the right path.

         And yeah the best line from Miss shalini agnihotri was " Preparing for civil services should be an enjoyable experience and there should be no half measures because good thing about it is that no matter you succeed or not, you will find a improved version of yourself after preparation"

Back to December

Life keeps on moving

it still is, but not knowing where

Its not that I am not doing anything

I have been working harder than ever

Only six months back it was, when

my heart and mind were together

than we met, memories struck back

heart started to miss its beats

and i was the shy boy once again

one who was happy just to see you

 everyday again and again

I was happy to find you but felt sad

because you liked someone else

Trust me I tried to walk away that moment

because i didn't wanted to be just friends

but walking away was too difficult

my love for you felt so true

though you never had any clue

I said things i always wanted to say

obviously you didn't feel that way

sometimes it felt really painful

to see others so close to you

it was really hard to accept that

i am not the one for you

and all this while my heart kept

falling more and more for you

you seemed so right for me

as if i was waiting to be in love with you

and for some seconds you made me feel

as if i do mean something to you

But then the next moment i was nothing

and you just didn't care

i know i did some stupid things

i might have said things you didn't like

but my love was always there 

and i thought you could see through

its been days and you didn't need me

and you have already said that

i don't need to worry about you

but here i am dying to talk to you

i don't know exactly for what

May be because i still love you

and i know i will always want you

you are the first one in my life

and i want you to be my last

But you say that now its all over

you don't want me in your life

was it all my fault?

how can it end like this?

here i am not sure what to do next

to try again or leave it as you want

whatever it is but life is certainly

not moving the way i dreamt of

may be i would do things differently

If i could go back to December

Anand mara nahi, Anand marte nahi

Recently a lot of sad news has come up our way, first it was an eye injury to Mark Boucher who happens to be my favorite wk batsman and then our own desi superhero Dara singh (read Hanumanji) passed away and yesterday we lost the first superstar of bollywood. Unlike my sister I am not a big movie fan so i have not watched many of Rajesh khanna's great classics ( though now every fortnight i end up watching the latest release with friends to bust the boredom) but still for me his movies standout because of great dialogues and some really beautiful songs.

Here I am quoting some of my favorite dialogues from his movies ( obviously with some help from google :P)

Maine Maut ko dekha to nahi par shayad woh bahut Khubsurat hogi. Kambakht jo bhi usse milta hain, Jeena chod deta hain.

 “Main marne se pehle marna nahin chahta”

 Kisi badi khushi ke intezaar mein … hum yeh chote chote khushiyoon ke mauke kho dete hain

  Zindagi aur maut uparwale ke haath hai jahanpana, jise na aap badal sakte hai na mein. hum sab toh rangmanch ki katputlia hai, jiski door uparwale ke haath bandhi hai. Kan, Kaun, kaise uthega, yeh koi Nahi janta.

Being a music lover Kaka's movies were a big attraction and some of my all time favorite songs are from his movies such as

1- yeh jo mohabbat hai ( kati patang)
2-  kora kagaz tha ( aradhna)
3- maine tere liye (anand)
4- kuch to log kahenge (amar prem)
5 - yeh kya hua ( amar prem)
6 - hazar rahen mudke dekhi
7- zindagi ke safar me ( aap ki kasam)

there are lot more of them but these are the few ones which come into mind instantly...may his soul rest in peace.....Anand mara nahi. Anand marte nahi’

A week without her

Its only been a week without her

but it felt like eternity

its heartbreaking to accept that

this is the way its going to be

looking back in recent past

its not the first time she has parted

and every time I thought this time

I will have to get my life sorted

we haven't  been talking all night

then why this urge to hear her voice?

its been years last time I saw her face

then why this heartaches and cries?

can't understand why is it so hard

it should have been easy

done everything to avoid her thoughts

tried to keep myself busy

week after week time will pass

little by little feelings might fade away

but my love for her will make sure that

in some corner of my heart, she will stay

CockTail of relationships

Two girls who are poles apart in nature live together and then a guy joins them and has a no strings attached relationship with one of them. After some time he falls for the other girl while the first girl gets serious about the the guy and while all this they remain very good friends. Sounds like a perfect love triangle, it is and thats all the Deepika, Diana and Saif starrer  movie Cocktail is.

                  Veronica( Deepika) is a girl who believes in living in the moment and does every outrageous thing she wants to ( obviously the fact that she doesn't have to worry about money helps). On the other hand Meera ( Diana) is girl who is introvert and somewhat society conscious. Now the guy Gautam played by Saif is a urban slick and sort of compulsive flirt. To keep the story short , Gautam has a relationship with Veronica but there is no emotional attachment between them and both of them are fine with it. After some time during a holiday tour both Gautam and Meera start having feelings for each other and at the same time Veronica gets serious about her relationship with Gautam. Now Gautam has to take a decision ......or may be not. To be honest theres no suspense what the decision would be... it was Meera and for very obvious reasons ( though after some emotional and "sacrificing love for friend" drama )



         Girls might be seen as more mature then guys but when it comes about thinking about their future Guys are far more serious. Every Guy tries to find that one girl he can take home to meet his mother. Recently someone asked me why every guy who meets her wants to be in serious relationship with her, may be because the guys think that she is the girl they can take home to meet their mom. One good thing about movies is that endings are always happy, first girl loves the guy, guy loves another girl and fortunately that girl also loves the guy so the first girl respects their relationship and moves out and all this while they remain good friends...nice isn't it?  but not in real life...first girl says she loves the guy, guy loves another girl but other girl is not interested and all this while they are not even friends and doesn't understand each other.... horrible isn't it ? this is real life

      We watch movies for fun and entertainment but one more reason is that we watch movies because it portrays the life which we want to live but can't. 

Running in the rain

Calm serene atmosphere,feeling of fresh air and the beauty of twilight - this is what a morning means to me. Given my hectic schedule it would have been easier to just doze off on the bed but for the above said reasons somehow I get the enthusiasm to leave the bed and put on my jogging shoes. Hitting the university road just before the dawn has become a part of my daily routine for last two months. It all started with a self challenge of completing 5km run in 20 minutes ( though i am stuck on 26 minutes ).

       Today it was like everyday, little did i know that its going to be a lovely start to the day. Started with light jogging as i usually do till i reached the nearby park to do some stretching and get ready to hit the road. When you visit a place daily you sort of start making friends with people whom you meet daily even when you rarely have a chat with them. Its like silent friendship, you give a smile while passing as if saying good morning or join in their exercise routines without speaking a word. Monsoon has arrived so it expected to be little cloudy at some times of the day but today it felt heavy. One uncle who is a yoga enthusiast( thats all i have seen him doing) looked at me and said lagta hai barish hogi...i replied in apprehensive shayad then he said phir to aaj running miss ho jayegi tumhari and I just replied lag rha hai aisa hi ( so its not only me who noticed others) ...and it started to rain moments later.

        Don't quite know why but i asked myself " hey Rohit are you going to wait for rain to stop? why not run in the rain ?...and I thought not a bad idea, its been quite some time i really enjoyed monsoon. As i stepped out of the shade and rain drops fell on my shoulder i knew its worth it. It took longer than usual to cover 5 kms but i was not worried about time, i wanted more of it. Rain drops falling all over, the breeze hitting face, jumping to avoid few water logged areas on the road and water splashing under the feet....i could have gone on and on. i was all wet, my shoes were drenched with water but my soul was drenched with positivity and happiness. It felt amazing, sometimes we need to stop inhibiting ourself and just enjoy the nature. A song lyrics comes to my mind which i have heard long time back and but can't seem to remember it properly but most probably it went like this

                                                       just try to love the little things in life
                                                             Like running in the rain


And yeah all day today i kept humming my favorite rain song

                                                           saawan barse tarse dil

                                                                 kyun na nikle ghar se dil
      

Aage kya karna hai?

Aage kya karna  hai? Guys don't get worried i am not asking you this question. This is the question which has been haunting me ( & every student) since i passed board exams. One good thing about it is that you know that every Uncle, Aunt or relative you are going to meet will be asking this question so you can fabricate some answer in advance. Its some sort of ritual, no matter what conversation is going on it will invariably lead to my studies and then the omnipotent question "To beta aage kya karna hai". well i try to answer it in simplest of ways to avoid further discussion but even then i rarely get away without a advice or two.

             Today got a call from a relative( to be exact maternal uncle's brother's son) and after some formal talks, the conversation reached to the unavoidable question of Aage kya karna hai. Being a elder he must have felt that he needs to give some advice ( bade hone ka kya fayda jab tak choto ko lecture na sunao). Advice from elders is a good thing but you don't expect Messi to teach Raina to how to play bouncers. You are from different field, you don't know what my thoughts are, you don't know what i am interested in and you come up with your own plan and that too for my future. I tried my best to avoid the topic without getting in some sort of argument.
             
              Sometimes it becomes irritating to tolerate those kind of discussions. Don't get me wrong, advices are always welcome. If someone wants to discuss about my career with me then it means they are interested in my future which is heartening to know. But people should understand that if i am going to do something then obviously i must have given a thought to it. i am not a crazy minded teenager anymore ( i guess i never was). I have always decided what i am going to do and this theory works for me. When you know you are responsible for your decisions and you have got no one to blame, you work harder, you give your best. Fortunately my dad and mom understand me well and they allow me to do whatever i want to. They never objected my ways, it obviously helps that before taking a decision i try to take their point of view. Days like today makes me feel how lucky i am to have parents like them.

      planning to visit them sometime soon, may be at the end of July.

          

Restlessness

They say love transcends boundaries

it can be felt across oceans

they say a girl can read a boy's mind

no matter how hard he tries to hide

Its the umpteenth time i have

typed a message and deleted it

numerous times i have called you

to hear you lovely voice but cancelled it

This strong urge to be with you

is indeed very hard to supress

to stop thinking about you 

to no avail, i have tried hundred ways

Here i am thinking of you

feeling like talking to you all the time

can you feel my heart beating for you

are you aware of my restlessness

If yes, then why don't you tell me

i am dying to hear this from you

if no, why don't you feel my love

is my love not enough for you?

I won't ever let you go

I might not be showing

my love for you

but my heart will

always beat for you

Do you know?

you are the one

i fell for years ago

whenever i saw you

feelings seemed to flow

Do you know?

i can do anything

to make you smile

can even make my world

to stop for a while

Even if i try to go

away from you ever

that will be only to

come back even closer

I know i am good but

for you i will become better

with time my love for you

will go deeper and deeper

 

Given a option, i won't

change anything in you

because you are so amazing

just the way you are

Even you love me a liitle

please don't ever show

because i once got to know this

no matter what, i wont ever let you go

Richest are not the Happiest.

So once again Forbes has confirmed Mr. Mukesh Ambani as India's most richest person which is not quite a surprise. On the global level he has been placed at 19th position on the list headed by the Mexican business tycoon Carlos Slim. Out of top 100 richest people 39 are from United States which gels well with the fact that more than 33% of world's wealth belong to Americans.

                  By now you must be like so what everyone knows that they are the richest. yeah they are the richest but somehow Not the happiest. Yes, you read that correct they are not the happiest, in fact in a recent study carried out by a global survey company they are placed on the middle of the list of happiest countries and almost same goes with other wealthy European countries. Whats more surprising is that developing countries have topped the list of world happiest countries, Indonesia, India, Mexico, Brazil, Turkey being the top five.

             A straight correlation between above two facts quite simply suggests that Richest are Not the Happiest which also leads us to the fact that running after money is not going to make us happy. Now I know why our politicians( never call them leaders,simply they are not) never seem to smile even after having billions and then some more in their Swiss accounts.

       But wait didn't we thought U.S is a better place than ours ? Remember during our childhood ,how we used to brag about our relatives (sometimes fake ones:P)  living in New York ( or London if you are 90's bollywood fan :p) . Does this mean our living standards are better American's and European's. No, absolutely not. It would be wrong to interpret the facts in this way because happiness is a relative state of mind. for example a poor farmer in India would be happy if he is able to feed his family properly and has a roof over his head but a young guy in U.S might be unhappy just because he hasn't got a car or because his girlfriend ditched him for some other wealthier guy.

       This also doesn't mean that richest can't be the happiest, it just underlines the fact that becoming rich doesn't guarantees happiness . Now try telling this to corrupt politicians...why don't I ,well I have got better things to do.  

Forgotten MEMORIES

After a loooong exhausting day i was thinking of unwinding myself by having a late night walk but had to change my mind. Unable to think of anything else to do, i did what everyone else does..logged into facebook. Chatting with one of my old friend conversation took an unexpected turn. Some incident had taken place between him and me and he was giving his afterthoughts on that. Calling it an incident seems an exaggeration, most probably it was exchange of some words between us but i am just not able to remember anything about it. Its been six years which is not a short time but i remember incidents which took place 16 years back so the fact that i am not able to remember it is irritating me and more so because he remembers it so vividly and that incident had a great effect on his life. Thankfully he is mature ( unlike most of my friends :p) and has taken that incident in right spirit.

         When i think of Jalipa, surprisingly i have got lot of memories related to that place. Surprisingly because i was there for only 3-4 months in which i hardly attended classes for 3 months. I knew i am not going to do my 11th there so i was sort of passenger there. Still i met classmates ( now i prefer to call them friends ) who were very cooperative and they made my short stay pleasant. But the thing which i liked most was that there was not much pressure on me to do things in a certain way and the fact that i was joint topper in the board exam makes it even more memorable ( though its of little consequence now ). Few people felt that i should have scored more and may be they were right but the girl who topped along with me was one of the best students i have met. In fact if asked about a "typical good student " she was better than me. So being a joint topper was not bad after all .

         Fortunately i am in contact with most of my Jalipa friends ( after all Facebook is not totally a time waster ) and it feels good to be with them again.

p.s - mate if you are reading this , am sorry i don't remember that incident but you know little things like that, little memories are what that tests relationships and makes it stronger and i hope i have got a lifelong friend in you.

World of DrEaMs

Last night we were together

no one else, just you and me

everything felt wonderful

like a magic, like a dream

The twinkle in your eyes

the innocence on your face

made me forget everything

my heart started to race

Holding your waist

as i pulled you closer

you blushed and trembled

my hands too started to shiver

Felt the midas touch of yours

as you put your hand on mine

wanted time to stop there & then

it was all too beautiful , too divine

You were cuddled into my arms

wanted to stay like that forever

at last whispered into your ear

stay close, never go away dear

would you stay with me forever

asked you again and again

but how will you reply 

you were not even there

oh gosh!!!!! it was a dream

that was never meant to be

reality struck me at once

how can i even think of it

Its too good to be real

and it turned out so

always wanted us to be together

but i have to let you go

can't desires be fullfiled

can't dreams come true

would you please tell me this

can't i have my one wish........... 

World of Facebook and Internet

Only 3 days of non activity on Facebook and some of my friends (To be precise online friends) started wondering if everything is fine with me..by God's grace all is well with me. It feels good to know that someone 1000 km apart is worried for you. But the thing to be noticed is that suddenly your online existence has become important ..much more than you could think of. In my case i have been purposely trying to avoid Facebook for last few days because of some personal reasons.
         
 Anyways i have never been a big fan of Facebook. To me it always seemed a time wasting affair and then there are privacy issues. A few of my Facebook addict friends might find this not to their liking but this is what i have always felt. Receiving friend requests from strangers is what i hate most but sometimes a friend request from someone familiar is much bigger problem. Denying my Didi's request was enough for her to start imagining me chatting with girls . You receive a friend request from one of your younger cousins and you don't know what to do now, obviously you can't deny him but you certainly don't want him to read conversations on your wall.

          I am not saying its the worst thing in the world, it has definitely got good things to talk about. Chatting and private messaging are awesome facilities though it can't replace the intimate conversations we can have over a call. Because of Facebook i have got back in touch with some of my long lost classmates and friends, in fact it was only because of Facebook i was able to talk to my first( & the only one till date) love and get in touch with her, unfortunately things have not been so smooth but its a different story will get into it in some other post.....so what i am trying to say is that facebook is good but not THAT good, at least not to the level of addiction. Its fine if you log in once ( ok make it 4-5 times, sounds more practical ) but certainly not fine if you keep checking your notifications every 10 minutes.

           On the other hand i have always had good things to say when it comes to internet, well almost everyone has got good things to say about it. Now a days it has become such an integral part of life that its almost impossible to imagine a day without it. I have to admit that i am on primary stages of net addiction and thats too only because of my busy schedule i don't get much time for net surfing otherwise online world is just too inviting. Apart from random surfing because of my love for cricket visiting cricinfo has become a ritual, listverse and howstuffworks are too informative to be ignored, once in a while yahoo also comes up with good articles then there is this amazing world of blogs.

                Internet is not only entertaining and informative, it is also useful on day to day basis. I am not a fan of online shopping but still i have been a regular customer of indiaplaza (for books) and  letsbuy.com (for electronics). Paying internet bills, digital tv recharging, credit card bills online are some of the things that my Dad has left up to me and more often than not i get requests ( read it "order" :p ) from Didi to top up her mobile balance. Getting requests from friends at unusual times of the day for balance top ups for their girlfriend's mobile is one thing i have become habitual of, and if any of you are reading this, trust me i don't mind it all in fact i really like the fact that i am able to help you.

        Oh gosh !!!!! had to wish my friend, he turns 22 today ( chronologically 22, am not sure intellectually he is 22 yet :P) ...have to leave this post unfinished , you just can't delay anything when it comes to friends, more so when its his birthday...kyunki har ek friend zaroori hota hai ( ok ok i know you must have got bored of this line but haven't got time to think for some other line)

               

Random Musings

ufff... schedule has become busier & its getting harder to spend some time here. Suddenly life has become harder in last few days because of both personal and academic reasons. Its like a challenge and i have to overcome them. Times have been never like this ,never wanted to be like this but anyways......

      

              Friends wanted to go for Rowdy Rathore but then due to various reasons plan had to be cancelled. Missed Ishakzaade also......

           Can't think of anything else to share with you guys...though there are many things occupying my mind but can't think of right words to describe them. Actually i don't want to write down those thoughts... am going to fight those thoughts and feelings in my heart..am going to test my own strength and determination...May be sometime later i would be able to explain it in better way..

Saying I LOVE YOU

Your voice refreshingly

sweet and bubbly

never mind it isn't 

the way i expected

but still listening to you

makes me all crazy

Last night it was

don'y know why

talking to you

my body started to shiver

my breaths got deeper

excitement took me over

and then it happened

yeah,,those three words

Writing this i wonder

how the hell i was able to

say i love you, so plain 

but now once i have done it

i want to keep saying it

to you again and again

I know my way of saying it

was far from being romantic

but i just wish you understood

the purity of my feelings

talking to me, you were busy

with your own stories

talking bout your friends

i should have listened to you

but my mind was wandering

thinking only about you

so i am sorry i didn't

remember everything you said

but i won't ever forget

the magical moments i had

For me saying 'i love you ' was

always going to be memorable

and the fact that it was you

makes it even more special

He always SMILES

He always smiles
brightens everybody's day
tries to help everyone
in every possible way

motivates his friends
talks positive all the way
shares their happiness
and sorrows together

but behind his fake smile
is a paining heart
a broken dream
a soul weighed down
by huge expectations
but still what he does?
He always SMILES

break from blogging

I have read many bloggers talking about talking a break from blogging is good for creativity but this break is a forced one. Won't be having frequent access to net and exams are also near so i think it could be a nice long break. I hope i could return to it with the same passion.
                  And for my friends who want to read my blog i don't want to disappoint them but this blog is kind of personal but i would try to fulfill their wish may be with a bit of editing. Though i know i write trash but still i love it.

samjhne laga hai wo

कुछ खोया खोया सा रहता है 

किसी ख्याल में रहने लगा है वो

चुप चुप रहा करता था हमेशा 

कितनी बातें कहने लगा है वो

दोस्ती के किस्से सुनाता था जो

आजकल यारो से बचने लगा है वो

जिंदगी से लड़ता था जो कभी

वक़्त के साथ बहने लगा है वो 

हर बात समेट ली है खुद में

दर्द अकेले सहने लगा है वो 

शिकवा नहीं है किसी से,बस अपने 

किस्मत से सवाल करने लगा है वो 

 कल नाकाम सी हसी थी लबो पर

शायद थोडा संभलने लगा है वो

  

जनता था जिंदगी के वसूलो को 

अब और बेहतर समझने लगा है वो   

Post dedicated to my friends

Well to be honest this is a forced post, forced by all of you to write a post for you.So don't blame me if i get into some wrong or funny side of yours :D .Sometimes friends are too demanding. look how good a friend i am :p
I am going to write a few lines about all of you, only few because i don't have much time so forgive me if i can't make enough fun of you. I will try my best to be nice but if you don't like anything i write about you then man, its your problem :-p.... So here it is in no particular order ....and sorry girls specially to vaishali, jagriti and priya...can't make fun of you..but theres nothing admirable also:p

SUNIL - Got to start with a compliment for your pair of jeans because it seems that its the only one you have :-p....though i don't have any real affection with you but since you have bike, you make a good friend of mine and you could be my best friend if you decide to buy a new one :D... may be it will help you getting a girl because i don't think there's anything else attracting about you :D

RANVEER - you seem to be one of my most ignorant of friends.. or may be you think that everything must be asked :p which movie, why not this, when is the class., which book , where are we going ....seriously bro got to do something about your W'ss. Or may be you want to help us all preparing us for our viva sessions by answering all your questions..

ARJIT - remember our lab session...you can't forget it mate..neither can I. ok sorry but everytime i think of you thats the incident which comes in my mind:D  i am not going to write that incident here and embarrass you but i know you must be LAOF. ... and yeah " kya lag rahi hai" almost every girl tujhe kuch lagti hai....waise bataya nahi kabhi ki kya lagti hai?

VISHAL - how can i forget you my mate or to be specific my best mate. you are the one who make my room messy, use my things without my permission and have unrestricted access to even my private things.. as much as i like u as my best mate i really wish to get rid of you or more specifically your never ending calls... vodafone must be thankful to you for that .... thankfully every single girl in university have rejected you otherwise i could have become insomniac..:p










p.s - on a serious note all of you make great friends for me and i am lucky to have friends like you.

Exam Dates Announced

At last exam dates have been announced. To be specific only written dates are given can't say anything about practicals yet. But its huge relief to get to know the dates ..now there will be some badly needed motivation for preparation. was expecting the exams to finish in April but it looks difficult now. one should never plan for future... i was thinking of visiting jabalpur in April.. its been quite a long time. but now it looks bleak possibility now. will see what happens....studying for exams is one thing i have never been found of...its like pushing facts and concepts in your brain forcefully just to come out on exam day..this concept of Restrictive learning is hardly useful..i have never been that typical good sincere student who does all the homework and has all the syllabus covered. I always got top ranks but still i don't classify myself as the typical student..my love for books is what makes things slightly easier for me..Given a choice i would always prefer to read George Orwell or Robin Sharma than anatomy dissection but my hard luck.......     

kismat

किस्मत की फितरत है 

इंसान को अजमाने की 

गम देकर सताने की 

आज आँखों में नमी सी है

पर मेरी भी जिद्द है

जी भर के मुस्कुराने की  

Day today

Day today was as usual

woke up feeling sleepy

brushing & rushing things

room was all messy

should i call her today?

the teasing question

"no" i convinced myself

grabbed the thoughts & let go

everything felt unusually boring

mind wandering in other world

reminded myself of last night

challenge to not to think of her 

lied to friends about being well

changed the matter, faked a smile

being with friends obviously

eased & helped for a while

saw her pics and found her

gorgeous as ever

if it will go like this

i would forget her never

didn't wanted to text her

but couldn't stop myself

went out for coffee

but it didn't helped

took the book, turned pages

did some reading and notes

have to complete it today

just going to give it one more go

you have to smile

Life is all about accepting

the truth and reality

it may take a while

but in the end

no matter what happens

you have to smile

Then and Now

for more than two years

i didn't spoke even once

but i was happy, because

i could see her every day

now after two months

of conversation with her

i am sad, even when she knows

everything i wanted to say

earlier when i thought of her

i smiled thinking that may be

she could have been mine

but now her words of denial

keeps reminding me that

she can't be mine

LOVE VS FRIENDSHIP

Friendship or love

Which one is greater

Some say its former

But others go with latter

My friends, worried for me

Always wish me well

My love is indifferent to me

So what can i tell

They want me more

And she tries to ignore

They share everything

She tells nothing

On B'day one friend wished me

On stroke of eleven fifty nine

But for whom i was waiting

Wished me when she had time

Friends are everywhere

Friends are all around

Even then in my heart

Only she could be found

I know in my life

Friends have played big role

But her memories are

Etched in my heart & soul

This love vs friendship dilemma

Is a difficult one to decide

Can't say which one is better

Can't go with any one side

They say love will bring

Friendships to an end

But she says your love

Must come after your friend

My friends are awesome

Will forget them never

But she is everything

I wished for ever